Last week the paperback of The Rival finally came out – a momentous moment! It’s more than a year since my hardback was released and it’s really lovely to know that the book is properly ‘out there’ now, and hopefully will be picked up by people in shops all over the country.
I felt quite reflective about it all today, looking back over the past year and a bit, and wondering exactly what lessons I’d learnt. So I thought I’d blog about them. Here are some that sprang to mind:
The goalposts constantly move
I think before you’re published you see getting a book deal as an end point, a nirvana, the pinnacle at which all your dreams have come true, and all your worries and anxieties suddenly disappear. Sadly this isn’t the case! Once you get your book deal, what actually happens is all the stress and anxiety you had about whether or not you’ll get published is channelled elsewhere.
“Each achievement you accomplish is swiftly replaced by another goal or aim”
For example, once you get your UK deal, you’ll then start agonising over whether or not you’ll get any translation deals. Then once your book is out, if it sells well, you’ll be wondering whether or not it’ll become a bestseller. Each achievement you accomplish is swiftly replaced by another goal or aim. To combat this, I am trying to teach myself to slow down and savour all the small achievements, rather than focusing on ‘what’s next’.
Negative reviews get easier to deal with
The first time I got a negative review I was really really upset. It felt like someone had personally attacked me in the street, telling me they thought I was an awful person. Books are so personal – especially novels – and hearing someone dismiss work that means so much to you as ‘rubbish’ or ‘boring’ is properly painful. In the beginning, at least. But now, it genuinely doesn’t upset me as much. It took a handful of reviews to get over this but I now find it quite interesting to hear negative responses to my novels, and rather than being devastated I can usually laugh it off. I also will often spend some time thinking about the criticism and whether or not I think it’s fair, and whether or not it’s something I can think about improving in the future.
And on that note…
Book reviewers are awesome
Even if they didn’t like your book! The amount of time and energy they spend supporting books without any financial motivation is pretty saintly, quite frankly. There’s nothing better than a person who loves books and loves to share their love with others, IMHO.
“having produced a piece of writing that you are truly proud of is by far the best part of this job”
The writing is what matters
Being published is such a strange, external experience and it has nothing to do with the process of writing. What I’ve realised this year is that writing is what I love – truly. Not being published. It was amazing to get some money for my work and the external validation is of course heartening, but in truth, the most important thing is that I do genuinely love writing. I mean, I hate it too, because it’s insanely difficult and lonely and unhealthy but having produced a piece of writing that you are truly proud of is by far the best part of this job.
It’s easy to lose the faith
But having said all that about loving writing, it’s a difficult career choice and I still struggle with the dichotomy of loving writing but also loving expensive handbags and not wanting to be poor. Writing as a career is really tough. I am possibly too mercenary and too much of a short-term thinker to put all my eggs in the writing basket. Hence my recent decision to launch as a website designer alongside my writing – which offers the opportunity to be creative while also earning regular cash.
A writer’s life is an unhealthy life
This is something I really need to address. I have written a lot of my novels in bed, and it’s given me backache and made me fat and lethargic. In the new year I want to switch up my routine somehow to ensure that I get out of the house more and just move. I write best when I work intensively – so big word counts in one day, rather than little and often – but this is definitely not good for my health, and it’s something I need to find a remedy to for sure. Any tips on this would be much appreciated!
Your editor has your back
If your editor isn’t one of the best people you know, then you need a new editor. Same goes for your agent. They will champion you to the world and buffer you from all the bad stuff and build you back up when you’re feeling low. I had never realised what a close relationship this would be – unlike any other working relationship I have ever had. It’s the best, and I’m so grateful to my editors (I’m lucky enough to have three now – two in the UK and one in the US!).
“I’m so grateful to all the many interesting and inspiring people I’ve met over the past year”
Writer friends are the best friends
Last but definitely not least – the most important thing I’ve learnt this year is that writer friends are worth their weight in gold. And that most writers are absolutely lovely people – the kindest, most considerate and sensitive souls you could care to meet. I guess they have to be, or they wouldn’t have the required empathy necessary to write. I’m so grateful to all the many interesting and inspiring people I’ve met over the past year and for feeling like I really belong in this community.
Published or unpublished – it doesn’t matter. We’re all in it together, all trying to achieve the same crazy thing – to leave our mark on the world by sifting through our experience of it and presenting our findings in a way that's enlightening, entertaining and memorable. It’s a mission I will always respect in anyone who attempts it.
